Single, Anyone?

Love!

I've been having these recurring dreams where I fall in love with a man, he proposes, I say yes, we plan the wedding, and then I wake up before the wedding even happens. It's a different man every time, some of them I know personally, the others are strangers. But the dreams follow the same pattern. These dreams are curious in the sense that my subconscious seems to crave the idea of being married even though my conscious brain is not all too keen about the prospect. Although I am not averse to the institution of marriage, I don't find myself mooning over every single man I meet. Or imagine spending a happily-ever-after with them.

Well-meaning people often ask me why I'm still single. The simple reason is I haven't found the man I want to marry. You would think that people would accept that answer and move on. But they don't. Instead, they would proceed to suggest putting you up on blind dates with single men they know. As a result, I have come up with reasons that are more palatable and depending on the personality, poltical affiliation, and religious persuasion of the person asking, I would give him/her a combination of any of the following answers:

1. "I'm still praying for the right person to come my way. In God's time." Most Christians won't argue with this.

2. "I want to focus on my career right now." Most career-driven individuals, especially those who are having a hard time juggling family and a job would accept this answer without engaging you in a debate about the benefits of being married.

3. "I prefer to stay single at the moment." People who are big on respecting choices would eat this reason up without a second thought.

It's sad that in this day and age, single men and women still find themselves in conversations such as this and often feel compelled to justify their choices. Some even take the extra step of arguing that staying single is better than being married. Personally, I don't think one is better than the other. If you're married, good for you. If you're single, would you like to have coffee with me sometime?