Own Beat

Trying to fit into other people’s molds is often a source of frustration. Expectations are different from one person to the next. And people are fickle about their standards. The moment you think you have caught on, they raise the bar on you. It’s like hitting a moving target. 

I grew up with a mother who was hard to please. She expected nothing but excellence. Needless to say, I am no stranger to NOT meeting expectations. And how lousy that felt. I remember how stressed I was every time report cards were distributed. My friends thought I was obnoxious for thinking that my grades were not good enough when they’re happy that they passed. I have since forgiven my mother for making me feel that way because as the years passed I have come to understand why she did what she did. I was stubborn, mischievous, and rebellious so even though I was afraid of my mother's reaction whenever I didn't ace an exam, I still spent more time with my head in the clouds, writing stories and songs in my journal, watching movies and TV shows all day, reading mystery novels, and playing with my sister instead of studying. As a result, I was that girl who always crammed for an exam an hour before it starts. Without my mother's voice in my head telling me to aim for excellence, I probably would've settled for mediocre and regret it for the rest of my life.

That experience, although unpleasant, has taught me many things. First, expectations could have beneficial effects. One of my professional mentors said that a fish placed in a small aquarium will not grow in size as much as another one placed in a bigger tank. Expectations shape goals. Without them you would be living one day to the next with nothing to work for.

Second, standards are important. They help you make decisions. Should you marry that man? Should you take that job? Should you buy that dress? Should you eat at that restaurant? Should you watch that play?

Third, you should not live by the expectations of others nor be affected by the standards others place on themselves or even on you. Trying to please people or aiming to win them by jumping over the bar that they have set before you could lead to broken hearts. 

I have long since ceased from caring so much about what other people think of me. It’s enough that I am my own critic. I try to live my life according to the beat of my own drum with the goal of pleasing my Creator and hearing Him say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Food standard: High! (Beef and chicken satay in Singapore)