4:45

My alarm goes off at 4:45 AM every day (although the past few months have seen me wake up as early as 4:00 sometimes). All my friends think I'm crazy. They're probably right! After all, I don't have to work till 8 and it only takes me 20 minutes to drive there. So if I wake up at 6:30, and leave home at 7:30, it would be a rush but I would still make it to work on time. 

But I don't want to rush; I like to ease into my day. I don't want to wake up, head straight to the shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, then drive to work. That sounds like a prison routine, if you ask me. That initial moment when I first open my eyes, I don't want to do anything but linger, savor the early morning silence, think about the dream the night brought me, and ponder on a few mysteries that come to mind. I say a quick prayer for the people I love, read a few Bible verses, chat with God about what's been running on my mind, jot down some thoughts, check for messages from my sisters and friends halfway across the globe, listen to music, solve a few puzzles, read a chapter or two from a book, work on a blog post, do a few leg lifts, and if I feel like it (or if I receive notifications), browse IG/FB/Twitter posts. I'm not always able (or even inclined) to do all of these things before I have to really get up and prepare for work; I just go with how the morning wants to be treated. Sometimes, I end up doing nothing at all except stare at the ceiling and think about life.

Unfortunately, not everyone have the luxury of "lingering". My friends who are moms also wake up at 5:00 AM for a whole host of reasons that are worlds different from mine: the baby needs to be changed, the toddler is sick, breakfast does not cook itself, the husband wants baked salmon in his lunch pack, and the coffee needs to be brewed. Oftentimes, they couldn't even take long leisurely showers like I do because life outside the bathroom door keeps calling their names. I have nothing but respect and admiration for these women. They juggle so much and yet manage to greet you with a warm, hearty smile as though they did not have to go through the stress of changing their clothes five minutes before leaving home because the baby threw up on them. When I think of these scenarios, the first thing that comes to my mind is: I'd probably need to set my alarm for 4:00 AM then!

There is something magical about waking before the sun rises. When I was living in my parents' house in Cebu, I loved how the crisp cold morning air greeted me; even the asynchronous crowing of the roosters that was a bit annoying was a welcome sound. Or how about the croaking of the frogs after a night of rain? Waking up to those suburban mornings always gave me a feeling of certainty that whatever the day brings, everything will work out just fine.

The thing about living in a concrete jungle that is New York City, you don't get the pleasure of going out on a patio or backyard and watch as light bathe the earth and chase the shadows around the trees while sipping your morning cup of coffee. Don't get me wrong, I love my Queens neighborhood! But there are days when I wish I could look out my window and see the ocean, or mountains, or oddly-shaped clouds. Perhaps someday I'll move somewhere I can take long walks at 5 AM through verdant fields, flowery gardens, and wide open spaces, instead of block after block of buildings. Somewhere I can wait for the sun to rise and watch it set. Every. Single. Day.

For now, while I'm in this simple life, not complicated by husbands looking for their glasses or 4-year-olds screaming my name,  I'll sit on my bed at 4:45 AM and imagine that I'm off to a hiking adventure in Machu Picchu or cruising along Milford Sound or taking a dip at Ein Gedi or standing on a strange hill in Iceland mesmerized by the aurora borealis while being grateful for where I am right now and what I have.

Because things have a way of changing and life still has a few surprises up its sleeves.

Early.