TMI

Despite the frequency of my exposure to scenarios where people share personal (often intimate) stuff about themselves, I'm still not immune to the initial shock of hearing information that I myself would not talk about, especially with someone I barely know. Am I too old school, perhaps? Has the idea of privacy gone out of style? Is trusting certain aspects of your life to only a few people now considered antedeluvian?

Honesty, candor, and vulnerability are traits that I utterly admire and respect in a person. However, I wouldn't expect you to tell me your romantic exploits a few hours after we've been introduced. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind hearing about it. Once the jolt wears off, I'm always interested in a good story. What's dreadful most times is the expectation of reciprocation; that because someone has candidly shared juicy details about their weekend getaway, the others would have to do the same. I have no qualms about staying mum about my own but it makes for an awkward situation for some. Most people are gracious enough not to press; but every now and then there's one who can't take a hint.

As my boyfriend accurately put it, I'm often excited to exchange ideas, information, and anything under the sun (personal or otherwise). But there's a caveat: you'd have to be someone I trust completely and am comfortable with (and only a few have made the cut, I'd have to say). And even then, there are things that I've only ever discussed with him and not my other friends. I'm afraid, however, that is no longer the norm in this generation. With the advent of social media, people have gotten quite used to the notion of oversharing, regardless of the nature of their relationship with those they're conversing with. Whatever happened to boundaries?

I understand the need to know and be known. We were made to crave connection and the surest way to satisfy this desire is to let your guard down and be wholly "naked" before others, so to speak. But there are certain things that should be considered private, sacred even; details that are exclusively for the ears of the people in your inner sanctum (or as my cellgroup leader calls it, the "holy of holies circle"). A verse from Matthew comes to mind: Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces (7:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬). It's possible that I'm taking these words out of context but it makes sense in the point I'm trying to make.

The irony is we have no misgivings about sharing too much information but we are still struggling to make real connections. My favorite blogger, Michael, hit the nail right on the head when he said in his recent post that it's because we don't listen enough. We share too much but we don't care as much. But that's a topic for another day.

Hearts share, hearts hear.