Paper Rings

Taylor Swift's Paper Rings is an upbeat love song. Once you get past its peppy vibe, you'll catch all the sappy lines which might just make the hopeless romantic swoon. Swifties have excitedly parsed through these lyrics (and those of Lover) and concluded that Taylor is hinting that she's secretly engaged to Joe Alwyn, her boyfriend of 3 years. True or not, it's obvious she's seriously considering a future with him. I have followed this girl's career since she started and this is a happy development in her personal life.

The song intimates that once in a while (or perhaps a lifetime), you meet someone you'd sacrifice the "shiny things" you like and marry them with "paper rings" because they're all you want in "picture frames and dirty dreams". One you'd jump after into an "icy outdoor pool" (in the winter!) and someone you'd want to "drive away with" including their "complications" and "dreary Mondays".

It all sounds good when articulated in the fun way she does but there's nothing fluffy about these verses. The gravity of what they profess is not for the faint of heart or the fickle or the easily swayed. And the sincerity with which one says them could only be ascertained as time passes. It does not take much effort to make promises when buoyed by strong feelings of attraction. How many people utter the words "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part" to someone and then five years later say them all over again to another person?

What has happened to standing by our words? It used to be that someone's word is their bond and you can take it to the bank and it will be honored. Gone are the days when people would wade through deep waters, weather storms, and endure battles in order to keep a promise. These days we seem to have adopted the mentality of "I'll keep my word until I can't" and think that it's okay. No wonder marriages in this generation fail (1 in 2 in the United States!).

The entertainment industry is notorious for the high divorce rate among couples. Even Taylor has earned a reputation of being volatile in her relationships. But if the length of this current one is any indication, the girl may have already found the man she'll walk down the aisle with.

Finding a person to marry is a challenge these days (and not just in Hollywood). Many think that if they end up with the "perfect" person (or at least someone close to being that), their marriage will have a better chance of enduring. But that is only 25% of the battle. The fortitude to stay with the man/woman you're wed to, come hell or high water, is what matters. Do you commit as long as things are going well and for as long as the other person fits your idea of a "perfect partner"? Or do you put in the work involved regardless of where the relationship is headed?

You often hear "but he doesn't make me happy anymore" or "we've grown apart and no longer like the same things". It's not wrong to want happiness within a relationship or to desire your partner to enjoy the same things that you do. These things do make the journey easier but they're not the hinges that keep the whole thing together. A strong marriage involves a lot more than just getting along and being highly compatible. But for starters, it happens when two people toil day in and day out to stay together because they want to keep the word they gave each other before the people they love and God.

"I like shiny things but I'll marry you with paper rings
Uh-huh, that's right, Darling, you're the one I want
And I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this
Uh-huh, that's right, Darling, you're the one I want
In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams
Oh, you're the one I want"