A lot of people think that defensiveness is a must these days. Well-meaning advisers caution us not to trust anyone too much or you'll find your heart broken. They'd say, "Be just a little vulnerable but don't let all your walls down. Keep some for yourself so you won't get hurt."
We have become a generation of fake smiles and empty platitudes. We don't want to get too close to anyone, not even to our spouses. A friend told me that his mom's advice to him when he got married was: make her sign a pre-nuptial agreement so you won't be left high and dry when she leaves. We are suspicious of everyone.
Is this fear healthy? Isn't it limiting to constantly live inside an imaginary shell in order to prevent people from touching our weakest parts?
It is prudent to choose the people we allow into our inner circle. After all, we cannot trust everyone with our lives, our past, or our struggles. But to let them in and still hold them at arm's length robs us of the emotional connection that relationships are built on.
But I wonder whether the problem is not that we don't trust people but that we don't trust God; we don't trust that He has our backs; that when people hurt us, they will be given their just compensation. When we embrace the truth that no matter what any man does to us, we have the favor of the Almighty God.
So yeah, I always think twice about hurting another person. A little because I don't want to be on the receiving end of the bad consequences of an action I willfully take but mostly because I don't want to grieve the Father's heart. I know it's wishful thinking to expect the same from everyone because we don't all have the same convictions and beliefs. But I'm no longer scared of what men can do to me. My God's got my back. He is my Avenger.
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