Pandemic, Protection, Purpose

This viral pandemic has taught me several lessons, one of which is how I take certain things for granted. A hug, for example, a tap on the shoulder, holding someone's hand, or being able to whisper into their ear. I miss brunch dates with my dearest friends, singing with the choir on Sundays, working out in the gym, and conversations over coffee in a coffee shop.

The thought of not being able to spend time with my family on school breaks never crossed my mind. It has not occurred to me that a certain season will come when I would be concerned about being too close (physically) with people I love because doing so might hurt them. The idea that staying as far away as possible is the best action I could take to keep them safe is not something I ever entertained. 

But that day is here. Covid-19 has created a gap that cannot be crossed without consequences. For people like me who enjoy physical connection as much as the emotional and intellectual kinds, not being able to be in the same room with my fiancé, my sisters, parents, or nephews and nieces without thinking about the possibility of me passing on the virus to them is quite heartbreaking.

As far as I know, I have not been affected by the virus. I am not experiencing symptoms, I feel healthy and well, and by God's grace I will stay that way. However with the reality that New York City now has 1,871 confirmed covid-19 cases, the chances of me carrying it in my system, even though it's not making me sick, precludes me from going near the people I care about. I am confident that God's hand of protection is upon them but it's also not a bad idea to be cautious and prudent. The remote chance of infecting someone I love with a virus that might make them really sick is something that would cause my conscience to experience a severe beating. I would survive it, I'm sure, and even be able to forgive myself eventually, but not without extreme pain. That's why I cancelled my spring break plans of going to the Philippines. And oh, how it hurts!

This too shall pass. God is in control; nothing catches Him by surprise. Rest and trust in God's sovereignty. HE will get us through these trying times. These are a few of the lines I repeat to myself every day because it encourages my soul. Sure, there are questions at the back of my mind that I don't even want to acknowledge because they don't align with what I know of and who I know God to be. Fear and anxiety is an understandable reaction this season and even though I have not lost any sleep or experienced panic attacks concerning this current situation, there have been moments when I caught myself obsessively washing my hands and scrubbing them raw. Is it a sign that I'm anxious? Probably. But thankfully I have not forgotten that Jesus has already won the victory! That truth never fails to sober me up. 

So if you're afraid of and worried how this will affect your life, your future, and that of the people you love, it helps to remember that every thing that the enemy meant for evil, God can turn them for good. And the future? Well, He's already there and it looks good! God's will, plans, and purpose always prevail.

Clouds and silver linings