Ninety

#NotYourTypicalMarriage

Ninety days ago, I married my favorite man. 

My husband and I have lived two of the first three months of our marriage while 8,000+ miles and 12 time zones apart. A long distance relationship comes with a unique set of adventures; but as my husband puts it: if you really want to make something work, you can make it work. We’ve heard from the naysayers and the negative Nellys; but we’ve also gotten input from the encouragers and the positive Pollys; we have chosen to politely listen to the former but only receive and breathe in the life-giving words of the latter. We have decided to carefully choose who we allow to speak into our lives and our marriage.

Our 90-day-old marriage has revealed how the safe enviroment we’ve created for each other has strengthened our bond. It allows the expression of thoughts and emotions without fear of being judged; a haven where your plans, goals, or dreams are not shot down by criticism; an oasis where gratitude and appreciation are generously articulated; and a sanctuary where you can have your fill of kind, encouraging, and sweet words that could recharge a weary soul. It does wonders to a couple’s intimacy, deepens trust, and communicates love and respect.

It taught me not to take anything for granted; to treasure every phone conversation, every video call, every text message, every social media post, every affectionate word, every humorous exchange, every serious discussion, every virtual hug or kiss, every online date night, and every minute spent together either reading a book, binging on a Netflix show, or the snippets of opportunity to admire and be thankful for the man I married as he drives to work. 

It also taught me that though we are not physically together (yet), we can find creative ways to serve each other and meet each other’s needs. We have utilized all the tools we have at our disposal: social media, the Internet, tech devices, courier services, and prayer.

What you get out of marriage is what you put into it. You reap what you sow.  As Jesus said, “Give and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” (Luke 6:38)

A great marriage does not hinge on having an ideal set of circumstances but on the commitment of two people who are determined to have one. 

——-

To My Favorite Man,

I absolutely love being your wife. I wake up every day and go to bed thanking God for you. I am looking forward to the day when we could do life together, in person. They say the goal of marriage is not to make one happy but holy, and I agree; but the fact is I am happy and you play a huge part in that. Thank you for loving me the way that you do. 😘