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| Coney Island |
My dear 12-year-old self,
I know. It hurts for your heart to be broken. He was your first love. You scribbled his name on the sole of your shoe so you'd bump into him at a random place outside of school. You wrote his name on a piece of paper, burned it, put the ashes in a small bag and placed it under your pillow so you'd have sweet dreams about him every night. You played FLAMES with both of your names and got frustrated when the result didn't turn out to be "M". You swore that you won't get married unless it's with him. He was the center of your universe. The thought of seeing him made going to school more enjoyable. But then, he ripped your heart out without even batting an eyelash.
It was Valentine's Day. You didn't expect to get anything from him because you weren't that presumptuous. But you didn't expect him to come to you and ask you to hand his gift to one of your friends either. He said he was too shy to do it himself so he asked you to do it. It broke your heart but you couldn't say no. You even mustered enough courage to tease him about it. Even though you wanted to hit him on the head for being so insensitive you couldn't because first of all you love him and secondly you were exceptional at hiding your feelings.
But don't worry. Things will get better. And when you get to my age, you'll understand why that had to happen. Don't feel bad for falling for that boy. I couldn't blame you. He was perfect. Would you feel better if I tell you he didn't turn out as perfect as you expected him to be? And when you meet his 30-something self, you'd actually be relieved that he broke your heart. He's married now, if I might add. Not to you/us and trust me that's a comfort.
So hold your chin up. Next year will be better already.
Your future self.
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