Crush

I’m 11

I look up from my book

I see a mess of black curls
Shy dark brown eyes glancing furtively for a table

I signal, “Here!”

Scoop the loose pages of a book report I scattered about
Make room for his peanut butter sandwich and orange Zest-o

And ask, “Are you new?”

He said, “Yes, I’m Kier. You?”

A crowded lunch room

A childhood crush, a first

Was it the puppy dog eyes that were almost too shy to meet mine

Or the soft voice afraid to scare anyone

Or the sweaty hands that clutched a hanky kept squarely on the mouth to hide from a world too quick to judge and too slow to love

Or perhaps the, “Is that Anne of Green Gables? It’s my fave!”

I’m 17

Across the library, a look, a smile

I smile back, he walks to me

I’m curious, I close my book

“Freshman?” he asks

“Jucy,” I shake his hand

“Tigue,” that smile again

Starstruck and infatuated, a teenage crush

Was it the student council president badge

Or the basketball varsity team jersey in his bag

Or the top-of-my-class-and-can-outdance-anyone-to-the-beat-of-Michael-Jackson vibe

Or perhaps it was the, “But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door” strummed to perfection with a blue guitar and... THAT smile

I’m 24

First day on the job, confused, lost, friendless

A tap on my shoulder by fingers too smooth to be a man’s

A scent too manly to be a girl’s

A voice too friendly to be a stranger

A heartache waiting to happen

Conference rooms and computers

First love? No, not even close, but something

Was it the, “Join us for lunch later!”

Or the, “I’ll finish this up for you, go home!”

Or the, “I got you a burger and some fries!”

Or perhaps the, “That story you wrote for the bulletin? It made me cry.”

I’m...

Too grownup for crushes and puppy loves

I chase after stars, clouds, sunsets

Look for adventure in cars, planes, trains

Bury my toes in sandy beaches

Stare at the moon, trees, and butterflies

Someday a dream, a wish, a prayer

Walks in with a word, a hand, a choice

Will it be the “Let’s go somewhere, anywhere!”

Or the, “We’re lost! This will be fun!”

Or the, “Don’t worry, God’s got this!”

Or the, “Yes, a million times yes.”

Then, I do

Waiting.