Oops! I did it again. Jokes have a way of backfiring; mine, especially. To say that I put my foot in my mouth (again) is a gross understatement. But thank God for redemption and second chances. A lunch time conversation with my boyfriend that was supposed to be lighthearted and a sweet surprise turned into a counseling session about releasing and accepting forgiveness.
Forgiving someone for a hurtful word or deed is challenging. Depending on the impact of the offense, it might take some time before you can forgive them; that’s understandable because as much as we want to follow God’s model of letting go of hurts 70x7, we can’t discount the emotional journey we take on the road to forgiveness. But regardless of the gravity of someone’s actions, we do need to forgive because in the words of Matthew West, “the prisoner that it really frees is you”.
But there’s another side to forgiveness: the receiving end. Humbling yourself to apologize and ask someone to forgive you is one thing, but it’s another to accept it, forgive yourself, and move on. We are our own worst critics and we tend to beat ourselves up for the mess we make. And if you’re anything like the old me, you overthink the matter until you become numb. The years have taught me that over-analyzing anything does not add value to a tense situation. I still catch myself doing it sometimes but then I remember to pray instead and let God minister to me and the person I offended.
The best thing you can do when you find yourself at the receiving end is to trust the person you hurt and not second-guess the hand of reconciliation they are offering; believe that they have forgiven you. When I was a young Christian, it seemed unreal that God could forgive my sins just like that; no ifs nor buts. But as sure as the sun rises and sets, God’s mercy is unrelenting. The human standard may not be as perfect, but if you don’t want to be stuck in a prison of bitterness and guilt, it’s important to learn how to give and receive forgiveness.
Going back to that lunch time joke; in an attempt to inject humor into the sad reality of missing someone, I ended up making the situation “weird” and not funny at all. I’ll leave the jokes to the pros from now on; or maybe just stick to puns.
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Dear BF,
I remember D27 with fondness. Although my life was sweet, beautiful, and all sorts of exciting prior to that day, the past two months have been proof of how God’s goodness defies explanation with the way He can add more color to an already colorful life. I thank God for you every day and the wonderfully specific way he created you.
Love,
GF
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| Deux mois! (Photo Credit: BF) |
😘
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